For the next two weeks on Tuesday Tips and Table Talk Thursday we will be featuring a 4 part series on Families Grown Through Adoption
by Marcia Hall
From “Bragelina” to the family next door, adoption is everywhere these days. It is very common for a nanny to work for a family that has adopted or is in the process of adopting a child. Being a nanny and adoptive mom myself, I have a unique view of it. In the next few weeks I will be sharing a little of my experience as well as the experience of a few other nannies, hoping to help you – my nanny friends understand the motivation behind adoption and learn some ways you can better support the adoptive families you might work for.
Books are a great way to introduce children to new ideas and events without ever having to experience them. I love to take a trip to the library every time my children and charges begin to explore something and pick up a few books on the topic. It has helped many children in my charge transition to new things.
Naturally I find books are a fantastic way to help children understand adoption to be both normal and wonderful. Very young children will not understand there is anything different or unique about being adopted but as he or she grows and sees other families, they might start to wonder and ask questions. Children’s books range from helping with single families, multiracial families, same-sex parents, international and foster families. The books listed below are just a few of my personal favorites and the favorites of a few adoptive parents and nannies I talked with. I hope you find them helpful.
A Mother for Choco by Keiko Kasza – good for single parents and inter-racial families – my personal favorite (ages 4-8)
God Found Us You by Lisa Tawn Bergren and Laura J. Bryant – good for closed adoptions and religious – another favorite of mine (ages 4-8)
Over the Moon by Karen Katz – good for foreign adoptions (ages 2-4)
I Love You Like Crazy Cakes by Rose A Lewis and Jane Dyer – good for foreign adoption (ages 2-4)
Just in Case You Ever Wonder by Max Lucado – not specifically for adoption but is universal and religious (ages 4-8)
You are My I Love You by Maryann K. Cusimano– not specifically for adoption but is universal (ages 4-8)
Did My First Mother Love Me by Kathryn Ann Miller– good for children that begin to ask questions about adoption (ages 5-10)
Shaoey and Dot by Steven Curtis and Mary Beth Chapman – good for foreign adoption and religious (ages 4-8)
Shades of Black by Sandra L. and Myles C Pinkney– not about adoption but good for white parents with children with darker skin (ages 4-10)
Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born by Jamie Lee Curtis – not specifically for adoption but works well (ages 2 -4)
Ten Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes by by Mem Fox and Helen Oxenbury – not specifically about adoption but works well (ages 4-8)
A Personal Touch of Adoption collected by Berlin Peter – collection of stories about real adoptions (ages 4-12)
Tango Makes Three by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell – good for same sex couples (ages 3-8)
Wherever You Are, My Love Will Find You by Nancy Tillman – good for children in foster care (ages 4-8)
I don’t have many suggestions of books for teens and young adults about dealing with the stress they have so please feel free to comment on the post if you do!!!
Even if you don’t work for or have a family grown through adoption these are great books to check out. All children would do well to understand adoption a little better. I hope you take a trip to the library and find some of your favorites.
I once worked for a gay dad who adopted three children from a foreign country, the oldest was two when she left the orphanage so unlike her brothers adopted as infants, she knew a brief life before a parent and nanny. Even by preschool and kndergarten she and her brothers did connect that families can be made up differently. Yet there is a desire the fit in and seem normal. The daughter and the youngest even called me mommy one time in front of DB, I was worried. He smiled and said they don’t have one, they aren’t going to get one, and you are the closest thing it. He didn’t want me to stress about it
In hindsight though, I have met other men who would have had a different reaction than he did. This taught me that perhaps this is something to bring up in an interview in the future or perhaps first few days of the job.
This is heart broken that people adopt child for honor but in someday they send them to an orphanage. this is really shocking.