This series called “New Directions” features interviews with nannies that branched out into another aspect of the business, had to add something to be able to stay in the profession, or left the profession entirely.
My goal during the course of these articles is to show you that you have choices, and that sometimes “new directions” can take you to new growth.
How long were you a nanny? 18 year
How long have you been out of the field? 5 1/2 years
When did you realize that it was time to make a change? I needed to prepare to become a Stay at Home Mom to my daughter.
What prompted your change? My daughter was adopted from Korea, as part of the agency’s requirements one of us had to be at home with her for at least 6 months, and I was the logical choice. We wanted her to have a Stay at Home Mom as well, as we believed that it would help her to adjust and bond with us. Also, I wanted to try to start my photography business (which had been a side business while I was a full-time nanny) so it was good timing!
Was it changes in your job? Changes in your life (like getting married or having your own child) frustration in not being able to find good families to work with, or did you just decide to do something different? It was life changes – becoming a mother & wanting to pursue another of my life passions.
If you left to become a parent, how is parenting your own child different than parenting someone else’s child/children? I often feel REALLY guilty when I am having a bad day and don’t plan a lot of fun activities, crafts, learning activities, or outings for her. When I was working with other families’ children, I would never allow myself to have an “off” day, and I VERY rarely ever called in sick! Now, I feel like I take it too easy sometimes, and am very critical of her not getting enough of what I did for everyone else!
It is also hard to not get a break at night. Even as a live in (which I did briefly) I had “downtime” during my off hours, my time was my own. Despite my husband, who is an amazing father, and VERY involved, I am still “on the clock” 24/7 and am lucky to get 30 minutes of “me” time a day!
I do feel, however, that my education, and years as a nanny, helped me to stay calm and level headed through MANY things that would have caused other new or first time Moms to panic! And I am very thankful for that!!
Was it difficult to come to the realization that you were going to have to leave the nanny profession? Not really, I have “stepped back in” briefly (for about 6 months) , and have always known that I could go back, if I wanted to. I have kept up with the industry, with friends, with classes, etc. and I needed (and very much wanted) to be at home with my daughter during her early years. After all, that’s one of the reasons I became a nanny in the first place – to help children in those most important first years! That is why I specialized in infants and young children, if they can’t have Mom or Dad at home, I was 2nd best, so…..of course my daughter needed me!!
Did it come to you gradually, or was it an epiphany when you realized there was something else you wanted to do? I always knew that when I became a Mom, I would stop for at least a few years. I always thought of my nanny career as a wonderful career choice for someone who wanted to be a Mom, and had quite a few clients who would have LOVED to have me bring my daughter to work. So, I assumed I would be able to find a family who would allow me to bring my child, if I had needed to continue to work.
Did you view it as a positive change or a negative change? Becoming a Mom, and starting my photography business has been hard at times but has without a doubt been a positive change.
Do you miss working as a nanny? Yes, sometimes. Mostly on the days when I see newborns. I really miss my cuddly newborns!!! But I try to look at my daughter, and enjoy her stages and planning things for her like I did for my nanny families. For my photography clients, I LOVE the days I have the newborns, and infants/toddlers, and enjoy the “playtime” I get with them during the sessions. I even get to cuddle the newborns when I am lucky, and that way I get my ‘baby fix’!!
Do you stay in touch with any of your nanny friends? Yes, I try to – one of my best friends is still a full-time nanny, we talk weekly – even though we live hours away from one another now, and I try to connect with old friends and acquaintances through the nanny boards, and when I am lucky, by going to a conference!
Do you stay abreast of what is going on in the field today? I certainly try to. I know that at times I get very busy, either with family life, or with the photography business and I feel very “out of the loop” once I jump back in, but I usually get caught up fairly quickly!! 🙂
If yes, what do you miss the most? It’s not what I miss overall, but more personally. I think for me, I miss the connection to other nannies – in person, I mean, I am still friends with a lot of nannies, but those relationships change when you become a Mom.
I also miss getting to “start over” Since I specialized in newborns, 1st time parents, and multiples, I often changed families once the kids started preschool/kindergarten. With my daughter there is no reset button!!! 😉 Though I am loving every age/stage with her, I do get those longings for a tiny baby every so often!
Tell us a little bit about what you are doing now. Since becoming a Stay at Home Mom, I have also restarted my photography business. I work mostly on the weekends and during the time my daughter is in school. I specialize in child/family photography – maternity, newborns, infants, children, and families.
Tell us what you learned as a nanny that is helping you in your current job, career or profession? Everything I learned as a nanny helps both in my parenting and in my photography – how to make a child smile, how to capture a perfect moment before it is gone. How to play with children, how to be “on their level” without being condescending. I know what toys and props will work well with specific ages. Patience, patience, patience! Being able to just let go and have fun!! All of that and more make me a better Mom and photographer!
What advice would you give to nannies who are still in the profession but struggling with whether or not they should stay or go? You have to follow your gut. Take your time, don’t rush into a decision. Make lists of the things you might gain, and what you will lose. Think about what your goals were when you became a nanny, and what they are now – are they similar, the same, vastly different? Talk to those who have left – ask them if they regret it and if so, why. Make a plan for what you will do if you leave nannying, and how you believe you can put that plan in to action – how logical is it? How feasible/attainable is it? Think about what you will miss, what you won’t miss – and see if any of those things can be changed if you decide to stay. But again, follow your instincts – your heart and gut will, most of the time, lead you in the right direction!
What advice would you give to other nannies? Communicate with your clients. Speak up for and advocate for yourself. Continue to learn – go to conferences, take classes, etc. Learn from other nannies! Network – make sure you don’t cut yourself off from other nannies -we need each other!
What do you wish you had known then that you know now? I wish I had known how hard it would be to get back into working as a nanny, should I ever decide to. Once you become a Mom, it is hard for other Moms to see you as a nanny, seems strange to me, but it seems to be a common thing. I also wish that I had known that some friends would no longer trust me, and might give up on our friendship, because as a Mom, they saw me as against them, the nanny (though most still know I am ALWAYS on the nanny’s side!)
In hindsight, do you think your decision was a good one? Yes, the decision to care for my daughter and follow my other passion was most definitely the best one I could have made!
Would you do it again? Yes, in a heartbeat!
Would you ever consider working as a nanny again? I have taken one part time position as a nanny, since my daughter came home, and restarting my photography business. It was only for 4 hours 2x a week – with a newborn, and I loved every second of it! If I could find an awesome position like that again, I would definitely consider it; and once my daughter is in school full-time next year, I might consider a morning only part-time position with an infant – just to get my baby fix!!
New Directions Series contributor Glenda Propst