I wrote this article about “Surviving Valentines Day” but most of the ideas area applicable to surviving Christmas as well.
You may wonder why I am writing about this topic since I am married but for the majority of my adult life (until I was 42) I was single and I would have to say that for the most part I enjoyed being single.
However the advertising industry has a way of making you feel like if you don’t have a significant other in your life you just aren’t normal.
They start advertising for Valentines Day as soon as they take the Christmas promotions down so it’s in your face everyday, everywhere you go. It’s on the radio, it’s on TV and it’s all over the stores. So by the time Valentines Day arrives if you are sensitive about being single you are feeling pretty alone and even if you aren’t sensitive about it, it still takes its toll.Whether you are single or engaged or married, we all deserve love. If you are single and you don’t want to be, or if you are newly single, it’s especially hard. If you are newly single I have a great book to recommend to you. It’s called “How to Survive the Loss of a Love” It’s a great easy fast read and best of all, you can click this link and read the whole book online for free(after you finish reading this article of course) or you can click here and buy a hard copy on Amazon.
If you have children, or if you have special children in your life you can do something special to show your love for them, or you can help them show their love for someone else. We had 2 great projects on Creative Nanny Wednesday.
Decorated Purell Bottles from Nanny Gael Ann
A Dozen Poses from Kellie Geres
If you have family (parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles etc) you can spend time with them, go out for a meal, or simply send a card.
Sometimes being close to family is just not realistic. Many nannies live far away from their families and being with them is just not an option. In addition to that, a lot of nannies live in and it’s not a night they want to stay home alone.
It took me a long time to learn that if I didn’t love myself, I couldn’t expect someone else to love me. It sounds trite when people say “Take care of yourself” or “Take time for yourself” but it is so important. If you are alone, you should do something for yourself. If you have the money to indulge yourself, by all means do it but, if you don’t have the money, it doesn’t mean you can’t do something nice for yourself without breaking the budget.
Taking care of yourself doesn’t have to be extravagant. It can be as simple as buying your favorite magazine, drawing a hot bath, making yourself a cup of tea, and shutting out the world. When you take time for yourself, whether it is 30 minutes in the tub, or 10 minutes with a cup of tea it is only important to be completely in that moment at that moment. It means forgetting the load of laundry in the dryer, or taking a break from the computer, or even putting off fixing dinner for 10 minutes to relax, to dream, to think, or just to stare off into space and not feel guilty about what you should be doing.
When I was single I didn’t have a lot of money to squander but when it was a special occasion I always bought something for me. I loved buying the latest shade of nail polish or a new lipstick, coloring my hair at home, or buying a new outfit.
It’s always a great day to Celebrate You! Celebrate another year of being on this earth. These special days are a great time to reflect and set goals, to remember and to laugh but they are also a great time to just revel in the person you have grown to be.
Our lives constantly change and as individuals we are growing and changing and learning everyday but we should love ourselves for who are today, not what we could have been, or what we should have been. If you are playing “woulda coulda shoulda” watch the movie “Frequency” You might change your mind. We have to let go of the past, and look to the future. We have to remember that love always looks forward.
It is what it is and what it is, is what it was meant to be.
Don’t get sucked into the commercialism of a holiday that is a huge money maker for card companies, jewelry stores and florists. Remember that Valentines Day is a day to celebrate love not marriage, not couples, simply love……… and anyone can celebrate that.
If you are someone who enjoys quiet, buy yourself a new book and give yourself permission to read into the wee hours of the morning or rent all your favorite movies and make your favorite snack.
If you enjoy writing buy a new journal.
If you like to cook, make yourself a great meal or a favorite dessert.
If you enjoy music, buy a new CD from your favorite artist.
If you love art, go walk through a museum.
I heard a great idea the other night where someone invited their single friends over for game night where everyone brings their favorite board game and a snack for a fun night in.
Sometimes when we are feeling alone, it’s nice to do something nice for others. Volunteer your services at a local charity or soup kitchen.
Whatever you choose to do, remember:
Valentines Day, and Christmas Day are days for loving and sharing and you should love yourself the best.