There is such a deep connection nannies feel for their charges that when the “job” ends, the love does not. This is one reason it is so very important to have excellent communication and a caring relationship with the parents you work for. It is not only in your best interest to stay connected to them but it is in the child’s best interest as well.
Is it always possible? No, because you as the nanny do not get to make all the choices in the relationship. However, there are a few things you can do to protect and build the relationship you have so that it will hopefully continue long after you leave the job.
- Most of us have our charges create some kind of gift for their parents on birthdays, mother’s and father’s day and other holidays. But don’t stop there. Give a card to them from yourself on some of these days showing them that though you understand the other dynamics of the relationship, you also consider them part of your family in some ways as well.
- Be sure to give a card and small gift on Bosses Day. I find that flowers or something edible are perfect. It is a great way to show your employers that you see all sides of your relationship.
- Try to come to birthday parties of your charges. Some nannies are tasked with planning and pulling off these parties but if you are not, be sure to ask if you can come (without getting paid) in order to be a part of these big events.
- You never know how the job will end. Even when you think things are going great, something could change and the job might end suddenly. At this time, discuss with your employers your desire to say goodbye to your charges properly. Even if the job ending is not your choice, it is important for your charges to have some kind of closure to your leaving. It may be unpleasant for everyone involved and the children may cry. You will most likely cry too. One of the reasons parents at times do not want the nanny to say goodbye is that they are afraid she will say something negative or misleading about why she is leaving. To avoid this, let the parents know you want to send a unified message to their children.
- When the time comes to leave, be sure to have some kind of way to say “see you later” to the kids. Personally, when I leave a family I create a scrapbook of all the pictures I have of the kids. I am sure to leave some room in the end of the book and let them know that we will still have some adventures together. Only do this of course if you actually plan to do so.
There is no way to guarantee that you will be able to continue to have a relationship with your charges after your job with them ends, but if you show your charges and their parents that you want to be a part of their lives outside of what is expected of you, there is a good chance the parents are going see the benefit and want you to continue to be a part of your charges lives.
To read more on the Dynamics of the Nanny Relationship visit: